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 Post subject: Any correction
PostPosted: Mon May 11, 2015 3:57 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 21, 2015 6:06 am
Posts: 7
Hi Steve,

Everyday I write reports concerning my responsibility and this is one of them. Kindly check through it for any correction.

This morning I was sleeping in my room when camp boss came to wake me up that Rizwan refused to go to duty, and I asked him why he has refused, he said because he went to the club last night and he was drunk as well. So I went to his room to ask him why has he refused to go to duty but he said today was my off and I’m just coming back now, so I told him but you have been informed that Stephen is sick and he needs to go to the clinic today so why are you refusing to go to duty, he said he doesn't care, despite telling him Operations manager told me he must go.


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 Post subject: Re: Any correction
PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2015 10:30 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 12:24 pm
Posts: 559
Hi,

This is a question for the English questions board. Please ask this in the other board next time.

Regarding your writing, you have 2 very long sentences that is hard to understand. If you break them up into many smaller sentences, it will be much better. Here is an example:

This morning, I was sleeping in my room when the camp boss came to wake me up. He said Rizwan was not going to go to duty. I asked him why he wasn't going to go and he said Rizwan went to a club last night and got drunk. So I went to Rizwan's room to ask him why he wasn't going to go to duty. But he said today was his off day. I reminded him that Stephen was sick and that he needs to go to the clinic. However, he said he doesn't care even though the operations manager said that he must go.

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Steve Kim
English Teacher
TalkEnglish.com Founder


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